You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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