Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
