I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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