Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
