i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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