upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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