What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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