did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
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I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
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I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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