I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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