It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
3 2 1 whiskey
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
