i just made my gag reflex go away.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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