I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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