If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
