Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
