so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
