And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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