She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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