So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
