So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
