There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
