I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
