I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
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She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
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He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn