So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed