Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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