filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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