Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
