Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
