sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
