I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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