You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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