Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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