Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
