Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
