What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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