you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
