We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
