There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
where does the pee come out of this thing
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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