so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
