I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
