Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
