Apparently you make a good broom.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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