end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
