so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
