Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
