i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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