If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.