whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
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If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
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Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.