can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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