i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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