This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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