he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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