i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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