But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
