You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
