i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
