If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
