do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
