Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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