Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
