3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
