I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You were trust falling into bushes
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
