everyone is single if you try hard enough
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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