Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
