so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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