Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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