pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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