Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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