Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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