I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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